Category: source: twitter

“Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone.”

“Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone.”

Eddie Dean

“You fight too much, swear too much, and your morals are questionable. You’re everything I’ve ever…”

“You fight too much, swear too much, and your morals are questionable. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted in a friend.”

Eddie Dean, to Roland Deschain

Roland Deschain: How much for the horse tornado?

Roland Deschain: How much for the horse tornado?
Carnival worker: Sir, that’s a carousel.
Roland Deschain: I must have it.

[at Katz’s Pharmacy]

[at Katz’s Pharmacy]
Roland Deschain: I’d like to return this pack of gum. They taste awful.
Katz: Sir, those are Band-Aids.
Roland Deschain: Oh, I’d like to return these Band-Aids. Someone ate some.